Pique Confused?

Extremely reliable source Goal.com has reported that Barcelona center back, Gerard Pique, has claimed that current Real Madrid trainer, Jose "The Special One" Mourinho, got away with "murder" last year. Pique pointed out that  Mourinho poked Tito Villanova in the eye. However, ongoing investigations suggest that the infamous eye poke had nothing to do with Tito's battle against cancer. The leading culprit for Tito's cancer is in fact New York Yankees third baseman, Alex Rodriguez. Pique is not to blame for this misunderstanding, though. Clearly he was confused by the story recently breaking from the National Football League regarding Ray Lewis' retirement. The National Football League has been a major distraction to all other sports in Europe following the wild success of the National Football League's annual single game in London each season. Not only do foreign fans not understand what's going on during the game, but they have become increasingly interested in the drama, such as Ray Lewis' retirement, a story that has clearly had a lot of meaning to Gerard Pique, even if he thought they were reporting on Jose "The Special One Mourinho."

They accused me of what?

One of the stories that makes up Ray Lewis' illustrious career has to do with a double murder and a bloody suit, belonging to Mr. Lewis, that has gone missing probably never to be seen again. Neither Jose Mourinho or Ray Lewis got away with murder last year, Mr. Pique, but Ray Lewis probably got away with murder years ago. Pique, most likely distracted by his girlfriend Shakira's hips because they don't lie, must have caught only part of the story and, just like every other Barcelona player or fan, thought that the negative news was about Satan's imp over in Madrid, Jose Mourinho.

Have you seen my girlfriend's hips?

While Mourinho has not been interviewed about Pique's allegations yet and the mix up with the Ray Lewis story, it is beyond reasonable doubt that Jose would respond with "who is Ray Lewis?" and then ask Pique where his 2011/2012 La Liga trophy was. Real Madrid fans have rallied by claiming that Cristiano Ronaldo, CR7, is the best player in the world, and Barcelona fans have countered with "91."

So goes the never ending feud between Barcelona and Real Madrid...

Champions League Final Set

My prediction regarding the second leg of Barcelona and Chelsea's tie in the semifinal of the Champions League was dead wrong. I predicted a 4-0 Barcelona victory, but in fact the end result was a 2-2 tie that saw Chelsea advance to the final on an aggregate score of 3-2. There were 4 goals scored, so I had that part down. Barcelona's defeat has been hit with harsh remarks fired at the stars of the squad, mainly Messi for missing a penalty kick that would have made it considerably hard for Chelsea to come back from. Blaming the loss on one player is unfair, no one really knows why Barcelona, allegedly the best team in the history of anything, failed to win. Barcelona's loss just proves how hard it is to maintain such dominant form. Not many teams expect to find themselves victorious in every tournament every year.

Looking at the other side of this semifinal match up, Chelsea has managed to reach the final of the Champions League despite sitting in 6th place in the Premier League and struggling to find good, consistent form. One of the concerns for Chelsea is that they have four players that are ineligible to participate in the final. Three of these people have yellow card accumulation issues and one repulsive man is excluded due to a red card. The yellow card offenders include Branislav Ivanovic, Ramires, and Raul Meireles. There is a movement attempting to allow the yellow card offenders to play in the final, but the important news is that John Terry will not be playing in the final after his attempt to cornhole Alexis Sanchez with his knee, which earned him a red card. Everyone should know that Terry will not be on the field on May 19, 2012, so make sure he is nowhere near your wife or girlfriend. Chelsea will meet Bayern Munich in the final after Bayern's victory over Real Madrid yesterday in a penalty kick shootout.

When both Real Madrid and Barcelona reached the semifinal of the Champions League, there was a great chance to have El Clasico in the final. I actually think that it is good for the soccer world that this is not the case. While Barcelona and Real Madrid are both spectacular teams full of great players and headed by wonderful coaches, I think it is good for there to be some variety in winners. Chelsea versus Bayern Munich might not be the ideal match up, but at least John Terry can't play. Over the past two seasons, since Barcelona has become known as the greatest team ever, since Mourinho went to the helm at Real Madrid, and the battle between CR7 and Messi started, I think many people need a break from these two teams. Bayern Munich is a great team headed by two outstanding wingers in Ribery and Robben, even if one has problems with prostitutes and the other has trouble staying on his feet and not getting injured.

Bayern Munich earned its spot in the final by advancing over Real Madrid in a game that came down to penalties. Manuel Neuer looks like he was worth signing after his tremendous performance in the penalty shootout, and Sergio Ramos' awful attempt at a penalty kick. Advancement looked improbable for Bayern after CR7 scored two quick goals in the early stages of the match, but Robben put them right back in the hunt when he netted a penalty kick (CR7 scored one penalty, too). Bayern continued to fight valiantly and forced the penalty shootout where Neuer came up so big. I hope Oliver Kahn is proud. Hopefully Chelsea doesn't use extremely defensive tactics in an effort to suppress Bayern's attacking style of soccer, similar to how they played in the second leg versus Barcelona. Chelsea should have confidence in their attackers, especially after Torres scored the winning goal against Barcelona.

I see you, Neuer

Fernando Torres has been struggling to put the ball in the back of the net ever since joining Chelsea during last year. Now that he has scored the game winner against mighty Barcelona and stuck the figurative dagger in the players' and fans' heart, he should have some confidence going into the final that Chelsea should look to tap into. There is no doubt that Bayern will come out attacking, that's their style of play. Real Madrid also plays an aggressive attacking style which made the match up between the too so entertaining. There's no telling what Chelsea will do in the final given that they are without Terry and some other players, but Bayern is also missing players due to yellow card accumulation including Luiz Gustavo, David Alaba, and Holger, Badstuber. Neither side will be able to field its strongest team, but the teams will be far from a reserve team match up.

Not many people had Chelsea versus Bayern Munich pegged in the final, but it creates an interesting game. Bayern Munich has played as two different teams throughout the year. Sometimes Bayern plays like the best team in the world and at other times look like an average team. At one point Bayern won a few games in a row by outrageous scorelines, simply obliterating opposition. However, Bayern was unable to win the Bundesliga, with Dortmund taking the domestic title for the second year in a row. Chelsea has been on the decline for a few years, they haven't been terrible, but they used to be a threat to win the Premier League for the last few years, but have struggled as of late. 6th place in the Premier League is struggling by the team's current standards, and Roman Abramovic expectations considering the amount of money he has put into the team.

The final perplexes me, I have no idea what to expect out of this game. If anyone actually reads this, feel free to share your score prediction on the final and any other thoughts you have on the game. I'm going with Bayern Munich taking this one 2-1, and remember, watch out for Terry because he will not, I repeat, will not be on the pitch for this one. One final note, Fernando Torres deserves congratulations for scoring the game winner versus Barcelona. The guy has taken so much heat since joining Chelsea that it must really be taking a toll on him. His teammates might be scumbags, cue John Terry and Ashley Cole (I didn't forget about that clown), but if Chelsea had to advance to the final, I'm glad it was Torres that did it for them. Good signing, Abramovic.

Champions League Shocker

Despite yesterday's match between Chelsea and Barcelona being played in England, the 1-0 Chelsea victory still stands out as a  shocking result. Chelsea has had some rough patches in the Premier League, currently occupying the sixth spot, but has enjoyed success in the Champions League where they now head into the second leg against Barcelona with a goal advantage. This is a good position for Chelsea, but do not forget who they are playing, Barcelona, a team that blows away sliced bread. Barcelona might be trailing Real Madrid in La Liga, but this is only by a deficit of four points, and the end result of the first leg requires attention far beyond the final 1-0 score line.

Chelsea did score the lone goal, which is the most important stat in the game, but they capitalized on one golden opportunity. Throughout the course of the game, Chelsea managed only two shots, one of which was  on target and happened to be the only goal scored, nice job Valdes. Actually , no one can blame Valdes, the guy may as well bring a pillow to every game and take a nap. Barcelona would allow roughly the same amount of goals throughout the course of a season if he did take naps. This game was no different with Barcelona controlling 74% of the possession and probably completing around 1,000 passes. Barcelona managed six shots on target and hit the post twice, generating a total of 23 attempts. By no means were the Spanish Powerhouse slacking or under-performing. In fact, the statistics to this game look very similar to many games Barcelona plays, the goals were the only stat that did not reflect how much they dominated this game. The finishing of Barcelona just wasn't there and when Fabregas directed the ball toward the net, a great defensive play was made to prevent the goal from being scored.

Passing Machine

Going home in a one goal hole is nothing for Barcelona to worry about. Defeating Barcelona at home is extremely difficult, even coming in with an advantage in the aggregate score. Inter Milan knocked Barcelona out of the Champions League in 2010, but that was following a 3-1 win for Inter in their home leg. I'm predicting a 4-0 win for Barcelona in the second leg with Messi scoring two goals and reaping the praise of countless people as the greatest player now and of all eternity. For Chelsea to win this game, Abramovich would need to pay out some serious cash to the referees, which he could probably afford, but that probably still would not be enough to beat Barcelona at home, especially in such an important game. Instead, Abramovich will most likely use that money to purchase another repulsive player so John Terry can mess around with his wife/girlfriend. That's beside the point, though. What deserves recognition in respect to the upcoming second leg between Barcelona and Chelsea is that Barcelona controlled the first game regardless of the score. It is also very doubtful that Chelsea will be able to hold Barcelona to fewer than two goals at the Camp Nou. That would mean that Chelsea would need to score again to hold on to any hope of advancing to the final, which would be very difficult if they generate the same attack as in the first game.

As mentioned earlier, Inter was able to dispose of Barcelona in the Champions League, but that was in the midst of a truly wonderful season in which Jose "The Special One" Mourinho guided his team to the coveted Treble. That Inter team had a spectacular year whether you would like to admit it or not and Jose Mourinho is a master mind coach, again, whether you would like to admit it or not. Chelsea already fired Andre Villas Boas and are under the control of Roberto Di Matteo. Only the most optimistic of Chelsea fans would believe that Di Matteo can find a way to stop the Barcelona onslaught in the second leg.

I think you can expect Barcelona to come out in the second leg doing nothing different than usual. Barcelona will hold possession, thus controlling the game, and harass Chelsea's defense like John Terry does to his teammates wives. Okay, I'll stop with the John Terry jokes, but I still don't like what he does. Barcelona will also accomplish it's most usual result, a victory. Barcelona is a winning team and they do that very well. While the type of soccer Barcelona plays does not cater to everyone, no one can deny that it is a recipe for victory that the club has nearly perfected (because if it was perfected they would never lose, perfect is perfect, no excuses) over the last few years. Without hesitation I'm taking Barcelona to win the second leg decisively and claim a spot in the Champions League final.