Pique Confused?

Extremely reliable source Goal.com has reported that Barcelona center back, Gerard Pique, has claimed that current Real Madrid trainer, Jose "The Special One" Mourinho, got away with "murder" last year. Pique pointed out that  Mourinho poked Tito Villanova in the eye. However, ongoing investigations suggest that the infamous eye poke had nothing to do with Tito's battle against cancer. The leading culprit for Tito's cancer is in fact New York Yankees third baseman, Alex Rodriguez. Pique is not to blame for this misunderstanding, though. Clearly he was confused by the story recently breaking from the National Football League regarding Ray Lewis' retirement. The National Football League has been a major distraction to all other sports in Europe following the wild success of the National Football League's annual single game in London each season. Not only do foreign fans not understand what's going on during the game, but they have become increasingly interested in the drama, such as Ray Lewis' retirement, a story that has clearly had a lot of meaning to Gerard Pique, even if he thought they were reporting on Jose "The Special One Mourinho."

They accused me of what?

One of the stories that makes up Ray Lewis' illustrious career has to do with a double murder and a bloody suit, belonging to Mr. Lewis, that has gone missing probably never to be seen again. Neither Jose Mourinho or Ray Lewis got away with murder last year, Mr. Pique, but Ray Lewis probably got away with murder years ago. Pique, most likely distracted by his girlfriend Shakira's hips because they don't lie, must have caught only part of the story and, just like every other Barcelona player or fan, thought that the negative news was about Satan's imp over in Madrid, Jose Mourinho.

Have you seen my girlfriend's hips?

While Mourinho has not been interviewed about Pique's allegations yet and the mix up with the Ray Lewis story, it is beyond reasonable doubt that Jose would respond with "who is Ray Lewis?" and then ask Pique where his 2011/2012 La Liga trophy was. Real Madrid fans have rallied by claiming that Cristiano Ronaldo, CR7, is the best player in the world, and Barcelona fans have countered with "91."

So goes the never ending feud between Barcelona and Real Madrid...