America's Most Hated Man

With the New York Yankees pitifully bowing out of postseason to the Detroit Tigers the insults of Alex Rodriguez (A-Rod) are in full swing again. As if those insults ever cease. Not only was the loss of the series 100% Rodriguez's fault, it was also his evil powers that fractured Jeter's aging bone and took out Mariano way back in May. Apparently A-Rod had been planing this one for a while. A-Rod was even lifted due to his lack of productivity at the plate in favor of Eric Chavez. Chavez's stellar .000 postseason average was a major force in the Yankees offensive attack, proving that he was clearly a better hitter in the postseason than A-Rod who hit .120, only 120 points higher than Chavez.

Donald Trump reminds the Twitter universe just about everyday that A-Rod was better when he was on drugs. Much of the criticism of Rodriguez exists due to his enormous salary. Everyone who hates A-Rod because of how much he makes is absolutely correct. None of those people would accept the contract that A-Rod has because they all know they would be unable to live up to it. A-Rod is nothing to this Yankees team which should rid themselves of the man who had nothing to do with the team's 2009 World Series victory. A-Rod's 6 home runs and 18 RBI during the 2009 postseason did not help the Yankees win in the least bit. Derek Jeter could have won the World Series that year by himself.

I'm the number one hated person in America!

Since Alex was born in 1975 he has been a burden to our world. Despite playing in Texas during the 2001 season he shoulders the blame for the September 11th attacks on New York's Twin Towers. He was f**king New York well before signing with the Evil Empire in 2004. A-Rod is also the leading cause of global warming and it is only a matter of time before Al Gore sets out on a stingy campaign against the former Gold Glove, Silver Slugger, and MVP award winner. Rodriguez's most recent damage to New York is of the smaller variety. Earlier this summer, A-Rod was the reason the city's mayor banned large fizzy beverages for purchase in his wonderful city. Clearly A-Rod is a major contributor to the obesity problem in the country and the mayor is doing all in his power to crack down on the superstar's terrible influence.

Not only is A-Rod destroying our environment and making Americans fat, but he is ruining our economy. One of the largest issues faced worldwide today is unemployment. The lack of jobs even in our great country has many people sitting at home all day collecting unemployment that they all definitely deserve. Rodriguez's ludicrous salary is preventing the Yankees from signing other overrated pricks to hefty contracts. The nerve of the bastard to do such a thing. If it wasn't for A-Rod the Yankees could be a better team with more than one player tying up the same amount of money. This would help the U.S. unemployment by about 0%, what a selfish f**k.

Apparently I had nothing to do with this

Fans from all over Yankee Universe are calling for A-Rod's head. They want him gone, and who can blame them, the numbers don't lie. In the 2012 postseason A-Rod only had a higher batting average than Chavez, Robinson Cano, and Curtis Granderson. Yankees fans would argue that Jeter would have been more productive playing in a cast or wheelchair than Rodriguez. The fans treat A-Rod the right way, too. If fans want to help out struggling superstars, then booing is the number one prescription to help them turn it around.

Let's not forget all the other horrid things that A-Rod has done during his time on earth. We haven't been hard enough on him to this point, not the Yankee fans, not Donald Trump, or any of the baseball experts out there. Don't forget what he did to New Orleans a few years ago, Katrina's nickname was A-Rod. Don't think you're safe on the west coast either. Those fires out in California were all caused by the same person. That's right, A-Rod, who is now the number one target for Al Gore and Smokey the Bear. Good luck finding your way out of that one, Mr. Rodriguez. A-Rod's devilish legacy has him chasing down even the greatest of evil icons. Watch out Adolf Hitler, A-Rod is hot on your trail. In fact, Donald Trump already thinks that what A-Rod has done to his beloved Yankees is much worse than what Hitler did to the Jews.

Everyone is definitely going to pick on me again

We all know the Mayans predicted the world to end in 2012, but the untold part of their prediction is that the world will end this December because of Rodriguez. The stories about plagues and environmental disasters are simply stories. However, A-Rod is the figure of impending doom and the Mayans correctly predicted him as the downfall of mankind. The Mayans foresaw the 2012 season that A-Rod had at the plate and knew it was all over without any doubt.

If we somehow make it through December of 2012 will the Yankees get rid of A-Rod this off-season? No one knows for sure right now, but we can all agree that he played absolutely no part in the Yankees winning the World Series in 2009. What A-Rod will do next no one knows either. Keep your fingers crossed and hope that the game's most expensive player doesn't f**k what's left of the Yankee legacy and the great country of America.