Tuesday, July 31, 2012

A New Power

Last week Major League Soccer made a definitive statement to the world. The MLS All-Star game does not follow the same format as all other American All-Star contests. There is no useless skill competition or any type of meaningless competition outside the game itself. However, even the game is unique to other American All-Star games. There is only one MLS All-Star team, comprised of the best players from the league. There is no East and West team, thus allowing for only the creme of the crop to make it. This one super-team takes on a foreign power in a one game showdown. This year's opponent, Chelsea, was the defending European Champions, having won the prestigious Champions League trophy despite finishing 6th in the Premier League. The Champions League victory stole a Champions League spot from Tottenham Hotspur in the 2012-2013 campaign. Tottenham will have to compete in the Europa League with Inter Milan instead. Maybe teams like Tottenham and Inter will give the Europa League more pizzazz.

How the hell did we win this?
 Chelsea's Champions League victory earned them the "Champions of Europe" label. This coveted title was brought to U.S. soil when Chelsea arrived to take on the MLS's powerhouse team. Upon Chelsea's arrival, the whole nation should have been warned that John Terry was in the country so everyone could get ready to hide their wives and girlfriends. Terry has also been under scrutiny for racism recently, so hopefully no one's feelings were hurt while he was here either. En route to Champions League glory, Chelsea somehow managed to eliminate heavy favorites Barcelona from the competition in the semi-finals. Not even Barcelona's little genius, Lionel Messi, could score when Chelsea had nine men and the goalkeeper defending the goal, don't forget that Torres was not defending which allowed him to score that crazy goal. Messi's 70+ goals this year for Barcelona could not get a Champions League title or the La Liga title. One man cannot win it all, at least not all the time. Sorry Messi, maybe you'll have to score 80+ goals to win trophies unless David Villa can come back and make an impact on goal.

Barcelona, arguably the greatest club side of all time, was eliminated by Chelsea as well as Bayern Munich in the final. Chelsea, despite losing extremely valuable striker Didier Drogba to Chinese soccer, should be able to handle the MLS All-Star team. Absolutely not correct. The MLS All-Star team defeated Chelsea 3-2, with goals from Chris Wondolowski, Chris Pontius, and Eddie Johnson. John Terry was even kind enough to stop the ball for Wondolowski to open the scoring. Terry Redeemed himself later with the equalizing header off a corner, but the MLS All-Star team proved too strong for the Champions. Eddie Johnson's game winning goal was one of huge proportions, lifting his side to the victory in stoppage time. By the transitive property, which is always correct, the MLS All-Stars would be the best team in Europe if they did compete in Europe. John Terry and Frank Lampard's goals were not enough to defeat the powerhouse that is the 2012 MLS All-Star team.

Greatest Team Ever Assembled
The glory goes beyond simply defeating the European Champions. Chelsea beat Barcelona, the greatest thing ever, even better than sliced bread which also bows down to the Catalans. The MLS All-Stars, by beating Chelsea, are superior to Barcelona, too. Looks like Messi and CR7 are going to have a third party joining them in the debate for the best player in the world. Who that man will be, I do not know, but it could be Wonolowski since he was astonishingly able to get John Terry to help him out, a man who would much rather be fooling around with Wondolowski's significant other and yelling derogatory remarks at  Eddie Johnson and Thierry Henry. Now that's an impressive feat that neither Messi nor CR7 has accomplished.

The MLS has come a long way since it's inauguration and is quickly making up lost ground created by Americans' prejudice against soccer. But how can anyone argue with a victory carrying the magnitude of defeating the current European Champions? Not only is the MLS relevant, but simply the best.